Do not blink. Don’t even agree. Just play dead.Yes officer, I didn’t see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you!This group is compliments o... Alan B.Still more hand-picked lousy humor...Why is a woman like a condom? Because both spend more time in your wallet than on your penis.My girlfriend’s dad asked me what I do. Apparently “Your daughter” wasn’t the right answer.What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.The teacher asked. I smiled and nodded into the well-soiled seat of his underpants, moving my nose around as I sniffed them to find their most odoriferous spot. I could feel my cock steadily hardening and I knew that this young man would soon be able to see from the front of my trousers how much the back of his shorts was affecting me."That's probably the best bit there," he said, guiding a small discoloured patch of material up to my nose. I inhaled from it intently, feeling my heart race at how deliciously ripe. Itstarted as a small discolouration, but soon spread through until, withdisbelieving eyes, he watched it consume them completely. The faintlight illuminating his nails, once dull, now masked under a layer oflustrous dark pink.Weaving them back and forth, the impossible made real, a echo of thatsame feeling brought his head down to find a equally perplexing sight;the toes nestled on sandals now sporting the same immaculate pink. Hisface distorting in dull intrigue, he returned to his fingers,. On the way he stops at the sawmill t’ tell you. Matty comes back to hold my hand until Granny gets here.’ ‘And you get yourself ready fo’ the hard work,’ Jim completed. ‘And speakin’ o’ Granny Parker, ah need t’ follow her instructions ‘fore ah leave,’ Ora made no resistance as Jim reached under the covers and found the hem of her nightgown. His hand, despite the strength of it, was gentle on her tender parts as he moved it past her belly to find what Granny Parker called ‘her sweet spot.’ Sex.
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